Training day 6

6:31 AM
It's kind of sad how I never generally anticipate that I'll be happy, or that things will go well. Before dog day, I anticipated getting this incredibly rambunctious dog who needed firm handling and constant monitoring. after I got what appears to be a designer dog angel (complete with a sleek yellow coat), I'm thinking that this is too good to be true; that this is all going to plummit somehow, and there we have that garbage truck again. And it's sad how it feels as though it's all or nothing--either he's amazing or he isn't, either I'm a great handler or I should never consider owning even a guppy because I suck so much. I obviously intellectually know the differences, and that there are absolutely happy mediums and good days and bad days, but, well, we've talked about how just telling yourself something is the case often just can't compete with years and years of ingrained thought processes. Where's Kim? LOL (I'm referring to the psychologist GDB has on staff for situations exactly like this one). I feel as though I'm constantly holding my breath, and sometimes I just want to let go and breathe. Ok, enough with the melodrama. I swear, sometimes it's as though I'm sixteen and haven't gotten over myself.
So last night, a few classmates and I went for a "real" drink and a dip in the hottub. It was actually really relaxing, and I actually got to know these girls a bit better. It's a lot harder in large group situations, because I often feel as though I have to compete to be a part of the conversation, and if I feel I have to compete too much, my response is to just withdraw and not talk. It's for that reason that I tend to prefer more intimate settings, and so chatting with them was really rewarding (the situation was also socially lubricated by my good old friend "Cab", so that's obviously a plus). Even a few years ago, I wouldn't have minded just jumping into any conversations, battling for a chance to speak--but now that I'm a bit older (I know what some of you are thinking: "Older? You're 26! Probably still being breast fed!"), but I just mean that battling for a chance to have centre stage just doesn't have the same alure it once did. I'm fine with getting to know people more privately now, I guess. Oh aging! here's to you!
I left Arden in his crate while I was gone, and lamented about how tragic this was to my classmates as we walked to the pool.
"My poor baby," I moaned, "He went into the crate willingly, but I feel as though I put him in jail!"
They laughed, and reassured me yet again that the crate is not "jail-like" to the dogs at all; it's actually a cozy place that's all for them and that they actually enjoy. One of the CWTs (canine welfare technician) was staying overnight with us, and when we got to the pool, he chatted with us for a while. I asked him if he knew about Arden, and how he was in the kennels.
"Oh, Arden? oh, he really did not like the kennels at all. he was not a happy camper."
womp womp womp!
"Seriously? How did he act?" I asked, terrified and ready to rush back to my yellow prince.
"Oh, he had some obnoxious neighbors, and so he'd bark a lot."
"Arden can bark?"
"Haha they can all bark! It's just that some dogs really hate being in kennels. Kennels are not at all like being in a crate in someone's room. He's with someone now; when he was in the kennels, he wasn't."
"Oh ok I get it." I said, trying to convince myself that my dog wasn't back in my room, foaming at the mouth, eyes glazed over and his carpet in shreds beneath him. He was actually perfectly fine though. When I got back and let him out, he seemed happy and his usual self. I relieved him, chatted to a few people on the phone, and then...you guessed it, went to bed!
1:15 Pm
Ok, so the jury's still out on whether or not Arden barks. I told my instructor the cTW's story about him in the kennels this morning, and she was really surprised. she said that as long as she's known Arden, she hasn't known him to be vocal at all. That's definitely more in line with the Arden I know (Haha I'm acting like I know him so well already). I guess only time will tell, right?
This morning, we did the same route we've been doing these last few days, and it went really well. Not in the typical we-had-no-problems sense, but well in that there were a few hiccups, and we addressed them and moved on.
The first one came about when we approached a small dog taking a dump on the sidewalk ahead of us. Rather than try and work my dog through the situation, I decided to just stop, let the owner deal with its dog, and I'd resume walking once the other dog had gone. Why get my dog in trouble needlessly when I could wait a minute for the distraction to pass? well, that would have worked wonderfully, because the strange dog and its owner left...only to be somehow replaced with like, four other random dogs that seemed to just come out of nowhere. It was almost like there was a dog distraction in every cardinal direction, and I think Arden's brain just went on overload. So I resorted to the time out. For a while, he kind of just hung out, choking himself with the collar. I was like buddy, you do know that if you only straighten your large yellow head out, that choking will disappear? magically, just like that. Then, when i was trying to get him to heel, my instructor suggested that I take a step forward so as to refocus the dog's attention on our original ine of travel, and sort of help remove it from the situation we were entangled in. That helped a lot. I was worried that after receiving a harder correction, Arden might just shut down and refuse to work, but there was none of that. We picked up right where we left off, and the route went really smoothely from there. We re-worked one street crossing--not because he was lunching into traffic or targetting the diagonel curb or anything,, but he was walking a *little* too close to parallel traffic, and we all knew he could do better. He did not resist the rework at all, and did it beautifully. One of the things I love about him is that he doesn't get stressed out easily, and he's incredibly tollerant. I know I keep saying that, but it keeps manifesting in different ways, and I keep being amazed all over again.
One of the things I really like about being here at gDB is how relaxed the atmosphere is. When we were heading out on our route this morning, my instructor told me to pretend as if she weren't there. I asked if we could still chat "as friends", and she laughed and said that was fine. She just meant that I'd have to problem-solve on my own, and that she wouldn't jump in all shero-style and save the day. I really like that we can walk and chat, because having someone just shadow you from behind and be silent the whole while kind of feels as though your probation officer is watching you, breathing down your neck, ready to give you that infamous "time out" at any moment. And when I'm being so closely scrutinized, I feel so much more likely to screw up. Anyway, like I said, I'm just glad things are so relaxed here. It never feels like some huge o and m test or a dog handling boot camp. Speaking of handling, it's time to relieve my yellow prince. And then I want to nap!
9:15 Pm
Ok, so Arden can bark. I just heard him. I was on the phone, when I heard a big, huge "woof!"
I was kind of confused--that bark sounded awfully close.
"Woof!!" Again. This time I knew for sure it was arden. Did he just bark? I just sat there, mouth hanging open. It's sort of like hearing a king farting. I just didn't know he had it in him! and a big bark, at that! When he did his third bark, I finally got to my senses and yelled a weak "Eh! no!" because I was still so shocked (and a wee bit pleased that my boy has an ass-kicking bark...just saying). I then tried to figure out why he was barking. I strained my ears, and then I heard it. A very quiet tap-tap. Was it someone at my door? I went to the door and hopened it, holding Arden back.
"Hello?" I called out blindly into the darkness.
"oh, it's just me, I'm lost. Where am I?" It was one of my classmates, tapping around with a cane!! So, we've now established that arden can bark.
We've also established two more things:
1) He put his elbows on my bed and burrowed his head around in the covers until he had, like, mumified his head;
b) This dog owns my heart. That's basically all I can say at the moment.
So, the rest of the day passed relatively uneventfully. I napped this afternoon, had dinner, and then played "bullshit" (otherwise known as "cheat") with a few of my classmates. It's a really fun card game that's actually easy to learn. I was really glad for the low-key day. It's nice to have some time where you can just enjoy your dog, and not really make any demands of excellence from it or yourself, ya know?
Tomorrow, a few of my classmates and I are going to the mall in the afternoon. We haven't graduated yet, so I won't be able to bring Arden. I'll leave him in my room; I just hope he doesn't bark. I'm really ok with the occasional woof (I want to tell myself he barked because he's getting to know me as his teratory and he felt protective, but what do I know), but if the barking becomes a constant problem, I'll obviously have to address it. Oh my yellow prince has a voice!! ok guys, I'm heading to bed. I can't seem to get enough sleep while here!
Goodnight!